“OMG so sorry no idea how i missed this message!!” 

I would wager a considerable amount of money that the majority of people in their teens or twenties have received something very similar to this message – perhaps this exact one – at least once in their life. And if you have received it once, chances are you have received it a number of times. In my experience, the people who send these types of texts tend to be repeat offenders. Of course, notifications disappear, phones die or undergo updates, or even are intentionally stored away from their keepers for hours on end. It is perfectly reasonable for every person to miss a text once in a while, with no implications of malicious intent or disregard for the sender’s needs and/or desires. That said, virtually every time I receive one of these messages, I receive it with a smirk and a bit of an eye roll, thinking “yeah, okay.”

Fortunately, the people in my life that I consider particularly guilty of this charge, by virtue of them having this proclivity, are likely never to read this article! Therefore, I make the following statement not out of consideration (or fear) of them, but rather because it is my honest sentiment: my “repeat offenders” are some of the most compassionate and receptive people I have ever met. Why, then, do they neglect messages and then proceed to lie about it? 

There are two parts to this question. The first is: “Why do they ignore?” and the second is: “Why do they lie?” The answer to the latter I believe is in virtue of the fact that they are such nice, apologetic people, who do not want to make anybody feel undervalued or dismissed. The answer to the former, though, I believe is much more interesting, and actually reveals a significant amount about why and how people from Gen Z handle communication at work. 

So, why do we ignore it? I think this has a lot to do with the general expectation that people from my generation be “always on.” Given the nearly universal adoption of mobile phones, with many of us getting our first ones in middle school, there really is no plausible reason that any individual would be without access to their messages, socials, etc. for more than a few hours at a time. Hence, I never understood why so many of my close friends engaged in this behavior. That is, until I started working.

When it comes to work, this expectation of instant responsiveness can wreak havoc on the work-life balance that so many members of Gen Z hold in such high regard. Personally, every time that I receive a Slack notification more than one hour before work or more than one hour post-work, my heart sinks a bit. Even though my supervisor has explicitly said, numerous times, that I am not expected to check or read them in my off-hours, that they are just for him to get a message out before he forgets, I still feel the weight of that obligation to read and acknowledge them every time. 

With the rise of remote, asynchronous work, this issue becomes increasingly pervasive. I personally struggle a lot with productivity when I am working remotely – I move from library to coffee shop to bed aimlessly and with remarkable inefficiency. Because of that, I often complete work beyond the realm of normal “office hours,” restructuring my day to be more spaced-out, with longer breaks between sessions of work. This can lead to some communication issues. I get a rush of anxiety every time my supervisor messages me asking for updates on whatever project I am meant to be working on whilst I am on a “brain break,” walking through the tree-lined bike path near my apartment. Of course, I have every intention of finishing said project that day — just maybe not at that moment. 

To colleagues from older generations, this can be confusing or even concerning. A delayed Slack response might read as disengagement or avoidance. But for many Gen Z workers, it can be something else entirely: an attempt to protect focus or workflow, or even simply rest. What’s really going on here is a disconnect between expectations: many members of Gen Z, shaped by our hyper-connected childhoods, are now trying to reestablish limits. Older generations, shaped by traditional workplace norms and largely synchronous communication, may interpret those limits as nonchalance. Neither group is necessarily “wrong,” but they are calibrated differently.

These tensions between flexibility and rigidity, autonomy and collaboration, and pressures from all angles form the crux of the issue. As many lamenting officials, corporate leaders, and journalists (somewhat aptly) proclaim, my generation is one of many demands. We want flexibility, we want the option to work from home (or not) if desired, to rearrange our calendars as desired, and to be momentarily unreachable, as desired. This, though, does not make for a productive and optimally communicative work environment.

So, how do we resolve this tension? There are two main ways I can think of, and (spoiler), they both involve a degree of compromise. One way for communication to work better is if everybody is in the same office (or minimally, an office of very close proximity), at the same times, on the same days. This way, being reachable online is significantly less pertinent, as in-person communication and check-ins are much more seamless. For many, though, this is simply not a feasible reality anymore. 

The other option is to set clear expectations on behalf of both parties. For example, instituting a clear expectation that I be available online during working hours, as I am working remotely, and adhere to general working hours. Or, alternatively, I have a set of “high-priority” tasks to accomplish before the working day is over, and then if I choose to work later at night or earlier in the morning to log the rest of my hours, it will be on “lower priority,” more long-term assignments. Concurrently, my supervisor can message me during those hours about those projects, and I will be responsive, but for the long-term or lower priority assignments I work on slightly “off-hours” I provide updates on those as well during the day. 

If organizations want to support an intergenerational workplace, they need to recognize these incongruities for what they are: not individual lapses, but cultural signals. Instead of assuming disengagement, it’s worth asking: what assumptions are inherent in our norms around responsiveness, urgency, and accessibility, and, more importantly, do they still make sense for everyone?

This is (obviously) a non-exhaustive treatment of the issue, and there are, I’m sure, many people who do not face this issue, or would go about solving it entirely differently. For now, these are the suggestions one girl from Gen Z has. Well, those and a quick self-referential suggestion to be a bit more patient and accepting with my friends who just want a break from responding too sometimes!